- Getting Pregnant
- Pregnancy
- First Year
- Toddler
- Family
- Baby Names
- Baby Products
- Registry Builder
- Registry
- Community
- News
Community > Birth Month
June 2024 Babies
24.8K Discussions
135K Members
Start Discussion View Members Join Group
Community Guidelines Community Glossary
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. Learn more about our guidelines
Just so you know, What to Expect may make commissions on shopping links on this page.
Bookmark Discussion Report as Inappropriate
B
BlessedMommaToBe2024
So I got the shot while pregnant, my husband also got the shot. My mom got it (she had to for her nursing job anyways). My older sister got it last year when she was pregnant. But my father and mother in law are very indirect about getting it. I tried to be nice about the fact that if you plan to be around our son often and not just a few minute quick visit, that we would like you to get the shot for his health. I’m not sure how else to encourage them to get it. I understand it is their body. That I can’t force it. However, I don’t plan to let them around if they don’t and they don’t seem to take that seriously. Any advice?
Anyone else that is meeting him over the new few weeks is a one time, few minutes visit so I don’t feel the need to ask about it. It’s just for those that plan to spend a couple of hours multiple times a week. My mother in law spent a good portion of the day with him last Thursday at only 5 days old cause I had to go back into L&D for my blood pressure. So she is using that as a reason cause she has already been around him.
Like
Reply
24 Comments
Oldest First
Report as Inappropriate
p
pmm4204
My in laws are being like this, too. We are keeping visits short and sparse until baby gets their shot at 8 wks/2 month check up. Besides that, we are asking they wear a mask while holding the baby. If they are a far distance from the baby we won’t require the mask, but holding/leaning over etc, a mask must be worn.
Pertussis is most contagious during summer and early fall and has a high infection rate. I would remind them of that and remind them last year and so far this year rates are higher than they’ve been in past years.
Like
Report as Inappropriate
B
BlessedMommaToBe2024
@pmm4204,
yeah they are not mask people either so don’t think that would go over any better. And my mother in law kissed his head before she left that day. Like no. She helped us a lot while in the hospital. We didn’t do visitation while there but she walked our dog, cleaned up around the house, and started a slow cooker meal the day we came home. But now I’m thinking it was so I feel too guilty to remind her of boundaries
Like
Report as Inappropriate
p
pmm4204
@BlessedMommaToBe2024,
totally empathize and relate. My in laws are not mask people either. I think they’ll deal with them at the hospital, but that’ll only be because they’ll be so eager to meet the baby. But my husband has told them they won’t be able to see the baby as much as people who are vaccinated and that’s a decision they have to make for themselves. It’s our job as parents to stick to the boundaries we set, as hard as that is. Don’t let your MIL guilt you into something you’re not comfortable with ��
Like
Report as Inappropriate
B
BlessedMommaToBe2024
@pmm4204,
thankfully my husband is on board. He just doesn’t want to start a fight with his mom. I wish we hadn’t of had to call her to sit with our son the other day but didn’t want to take him back into the hospital either. So it’s making her point of view difficult
Like
Report as Inappropriate
s
scoopstroopx4
You got the shot, so baby gets the protection from that. If you're breastfeeding, baby will also be protected. No need for anyone around you to get the shot. That's asking too much.
Like
Report as Inappropriate
B
BlessedMommaToBe2024
@scoopstroopx4,
I understand this perspective. However both my OB and his pediatrician have recommended we ask those that will be around him for a length of time prior to his 2 month shots to get it if possible. So I am following their recommendation.
Like
Report as Inappropriate
B
BoyMomAndILikeIt
You could just let your husband handle it since it’s his parents. “Look it’s for the baby’s protection. I’m sure you’re interested in keeping the baby as safe as possible. Also I really don’t want xx stressing about you visiting and potentially getting xx sick. Our stipulations for further visits are to get the shot, wash hands before holding baby, and no kissing baby. If any of those seem too much, that’s totally fine. We can always hold visits until xx date to make sure your autonomy over your body and vaccinations is respected. We’ll still maintain other basic hygiene rules such as no kissing for some time though most likely until we both feel comfortable. It’s our first baby so I’m sure you’ll understand and respect our choice.”
Like
Report as Inappropriate
j
julia-7
You did the right thing by following your doctors recommendations and asking. The chances of them passing along whooping cough are so low (especially if it’s also summer in your part of the world) that I would try to let it go now. There are a million other germs they could be passing along instead that are also very harmful if a newborn catches, and we don’t have vaccines for them. I’m sticking with thorough hand washing when you enter my house and again before you touch the baby. And don’t come to my house if you or anyone you’ve spent time with at home or work has been sick in the last 3 days. It’s less invasive than asking someone to get vaccinated and more protection over all.
Like
Report as Inappropriate
@julia-7,
pertussis is most likely to spread in the summer and early fall. It runs the opposite course of the flu/RSV.
Everyone is entitled to do what they want with their own bodies! So not arguing that or another parent’s rules with their newborn. Just think it’s important for people to know it’s not like other viruses and actually passes more frequently in warm weather, that’s all.
Like
Report as Inappropriate
L
LotzP
I get your following the drs recommendations however I’m in U.K. and it’s only routine for the mother/pregnant women to get the vaccine. Baby is then covered until their vaccinations at 2 months.
Also unless your expecting baby to be early/unwell/immuno compromised I think you’ve done all you can to protect baby
Like
Report as Inappropriate
t
thiggie
We have a pertussis outbreak in our area so I’ve had the same concern. I told my mom there’s an outbreak and how to go about getting the shot and she was great about it, but the in-laws were not. We just kept sending them videos/websites discussing the risks to babies and the recommendations for anyone in contact with babies to get a vaccine if they hadn’t had one in the last 10 years and hinted that they wouldn’t be able to see baby much if they don’t and they caved. Now I’m torn about other guests. I think my plan is to ask anyone who I think hasn’t had the shot in the past ten years to not come if they or anyone in their household or anyone they had close contact with over the past few days has/had any cold symptoms, even if mild. Also I plan to insist on handwashing and no kissing the baby’s face/hands, although I hate having to do that…
Like
Report as Inappropriate
m
mamabear061921
My OB didn’t even bring it up to me, let alone tell me anyone close to baby needs it. I didn’t get it with my first and she’s a thriving 3 YO. I highly doubt they will pass anything to her, use the basic newborn rules, wash your hands, no kissing and don’t come over when you’re sick and you’ll be fine
Like
Report as Inappropriate
d
dogisgood
Are they at least up to date on the vaccine, like had it in the past 10 years? That would make me feel better.
The kissing thing I would definitely put a stop to.
Like
Report as Inappropriate
B
BlessedMommaToBe2024
@dogisgood,
yeah that’s how we are looking at it. It’s just some don’t know if they have had it in the past 10 years and don’t seem motivated to find out. And yes. My husband is calling tomorrow to discuss some boundaries with his mom
Like
Report as Inappropriate
k
kmommat
It’s crazy to me when family won’t get tdap. Like, if you stepped on an old nail, would you get it then?
But oh well, if they don’t want to, then they don’t need to see the baby. That’s their choice. I’d stay firm. Baby’s health > hurting fam’s feelings.
Like
Show 3 Previous Comments
Report as Inappropriate
jajaseymour
@BlessedMommaToBe2024,
it’s not “her grandkid.” It’s your baby. Period.
Like
Report as Inappropriate
jajaseymour
If you don’t enforce this boundary now, it’ll be harder to enforce future boundaries, and your family will continue to not take you seriously.
Just tell them that they won’t be able to spend time with the baby until whatever date you feel is best unless they want to get the vaccine for themselves. They can complain and whine. Their reactions are not your business. You’re not forcing them to do anything they aren’t comfortable with. If they don’t want the vaccine, they don’t have to get it. The consequence is that they can’t see the baby. That’s their business to handle.
Like
- 1
- 2
- 1
- 2
{{/hideMessage}} {{^hideMessage}}
{{^IsArchived}}
{{#canEdit}} {{/canEdit}} {{#showIgnore}} {{/showIgnore}} {{^IsBanned}} {{#IsAbused}}
Violation Reported
{{/IsAbused}} {{^IsAbused}} {{#canEscalate}} Escalate for Review {{/canEscalate}} {{^canEscalate}} Report as Inappropriate {{/canEscalate}} {{/IsAbused}} {{/IsBanned}} {{#canDelete}} Delete Post {{/canDelete}}
{{#IsHidden}}
{{/IsHidden}} {{/IsArchived}} {{#AuthorIgnored}}
This post is hidden because it's being reviewed by moderators, it was created by a blocked user or was hidden by the original poster.
{{/AuthorIgnored}}
{{#HiddenRepliesCount}}
{{ShowMoreText}} {{#HiddenHasAbused}}
{{/HiddenHasAbused}}
{{/HiddenRepliesCount}} {{/hideMessage}} {{/object}}
You May Also Like
WTE Must Reads
Pregnancy Week by Week Pregnancy Symptoms Best Pregnancy Tests
